GIRLS DONT READ this ones just for the fellas. only guys will get this one. bros you know when youre at the gym workin on your ‘toids to get big for the sports well OKAY I’m sure the ladies have stopped reading by now, so what’s their deal? how do I tell the girls I love them without having to talk? I’m scared
"We’re doing an annual fun and sexy memorial run for our friend Joe. Joe’s still alive though. He’s actually perfectly healthy. We’re just trying to raise awareness for him. Awareness of Joe."
“So wait, are you raising money for something?”
“Nope. Just raising sexy.”
shh. do you hear that? that is the sound of christmas break. the sound of freedom. the sound of sleeping in. the sound of doing absolutely nothing but catching up on TV shows. it is a sweet sound. a very sweet sound
about 2 weeks ago i was working on a history paper and it was around 2 am and i was hungry so i went to the pantry to get some food and i found a bag of tortilla chips but they were really big chips so i broke one in half and for some reason i thought the noise was hilarious so i kept breaking them in half and that is the story of how my parents found me on the floor of the pantry crying hysterically surrounded by tortilla chips at 2 am
did this kid in my old spanish textbook call someone and ask for their phone number??
*points to bedroom* This is where we frick frack.
*points to kitchen* This is where we snick snack.
*points to living room* This is where we kick back.
*points to bathroom* This is where we shit shat.
*points to couch* This is where we chit chat.
*points to computer* This is where we click clack.
*points to shelf* This is where we knick knack.
*points to sex dungeon* This is where we paddy-whack.
What a truly awful website this is
puffer fish are so cute when they arent inflated they just look like theyre smiling all the time aw
TRY TO PET ME NOW, MOTHERFUCKER!
I’m sorry, that was mean. I just wanted to see what you’d do.
when you walk towards a bird but it flies away
being a pizza delivery driver is great because literally no one is disappointed to see you
i love how men mock women for being overemotional and then lose their shit over a team losing an over-glorified game of fetch
Because all men like watching sports, obviously, right? You just did what you hate men doing, putting generalizations on a whole gender.
i know i did
irritating, isn’t it?
Damn. Plot twist.